on Dec 25, 2009
As the year draws to a close I am filled with the spirit of reflection.
The year, for me, has been one of extreme tragedy and loss.
I have lost my brother in law, my best friend - no. I will rephrase, my closest brother.
Financially, it has been a disastrous year in so many aspects I am involved with. Many of my friends have been evicted and or lost the homes and the comfortable futures they worked for all of their lives.
Several days before Christmas, my father in law slipped on some ice and fractured his pelvis in several places.
My Father had bypass surgery while unknowingly suffering from pneumonia. His recovery took forever and then discovered he need a pacemaker installed.
Christmas Day 2009
My Sister in law:
-She is consoled by the closeness the death brought to her family. More love, more caring and a sense of cohesion that did not exist in prior the family. Life continues. And though memories are fresh of her husband’s passing, the memories of the time together this past year are priceless. She is calm, caring and peaceful. She harbors no animosity or self pity. She has become my hero.
-My father in law, normally perpetually grumpy is unexplainably happy this season. His only son is gone. An accident has put him down and the recovery will be long and unpleasant.
-He looks at my sister in law and a new light emerges from him. He smiles with admiration and love for his daughter in law. He has found new purpose, new energy, a compassion for children and grandchildren other than his own. I suddenly realize I have witnessed a miracle.
-An entire year for recovery full of pain and depression that only one that has been through it can attest or understand. His gentleness has increased, his humor is good. He has a couple of scores of grandkids/great grandkids that adore him. Not only a survivor, I realize now, he is now a caregiver.
-Curiously most of them seem happy. Sometime in the midst of loss a spirit emerges of hope. I hear things like “I am better off than most” or “better than the alternative” or even “I did it once, why not again?”. They pass gifts back and forth. Provide food and comfort to those around them. In humility I bow my head in the acknowledgement of true greatness.
Unknowingly I have evolved. In the midst of tragedy, loss, suffering and despair I find the inverse side of life filled with miraculous and wondrous things like love, compassion, charity and hope.
My Christmas Wish
-May your coming year be filled with family, friends and loved ones.
-May you grow from your experiences into the person and potential that exists within.
-Love your friends as well as those that do not agree with you.
-May you find hope, love and compassion where ever and whenever they are needed.
-May you give love hope compassion and charity when the time is required.
Lastly, I recite an old Scottish Blessing
May the blessing of light be on you, light without and light within. May the blessed sunlight shine on you like a great peat fire, so that stranger and friend may come and warm himself at it. And may light shine out of the two eyes of you, like a candle set in the window of a house, bidding the wanderer come in out of the storm. And may the blessing of the rain be on you, may it beat upon your Spirit and wash it fair and clean, and leave there a shining pool where the blue of Heaven shines, and sometimes a star. And may the blessing of the earth be on you, soft under your feet as you pass along the roads, soft under you as you lie out on it, tired at the end of day; and may it rest easy over you when, at last, you lie out under it. May it rest so lightly over you that your soul may be out from under it quickly; up and off and on its way to God. And now may the Lord bless you, and bless you kindly.
Life Love and Peace.