That Which Doesn't Kill Me...

I haven't blogged in a while. Primarily because I've been trying to get over the sting of the disappointment that held me hostage the weekend of Make Up Show NYC. Plans were made, bags were packed, flights were scheduled. And still nothing. That's right, it wasn't a typo. You read correctly. I never got to go. Never even made it to New York!

Now the details of the why and how come are best saved for another time (especially since rehashing those memories may just be too much for me right now).

More importantly, I am left wondering what the lesson is to be learnt. For surely there must be something more to this than just the tumult of disappointment that has been plaguing me for the past week. I imagine this must be a test. After all, aren't those generally hard? Maybe it's the universe's way of checking to see how badly I really want to paint faces and chase this dream. Maybe my response will be all that more important than the initial disappointment. Perhaps.

So here's my response to circumstances beyond my control and unfortunate events that threaten to rob me of my dreams and aspirations...HELL NO! NO WAY! I am hell bent on getting to that place I dream of even if I have to crawl on my bare belly on sun scorched asphalt! This is no game, this is my life. I may be down and a little disappointed (depressed even) but I am sure as hell not out. So I missed the show and it was a big opportunity. I'm just gonna have to deal with that like the big girl I am.

That which doesn't kill us is sure to make us stronger. Tests are life's way of checking if we're ready for the next level. That being said, I think I passed so bring it on! What's next?

FOOTNOTE:

If u think for a second that the extent of my disappointment at not attending Make Up  Show NYC is overly dramatic I should probably  explain that it was going to be my first Show/Workshop as I recently finished my course and got licenced. So no, I'm not a big baby. Just a disappointed novice *sigh*.

Shouldn't Be Doing This...

I really shouldn't be doing this right now. Sitting around talking on messenger and surfing the net. Ideally, I shouldn't even be writing this blog. I should be packing, confirming my flight and making sure my aunt knows what time to pick me up at the airport tomorrow. Still, I continue to type. I am hopeless!

Though, since I'm here, I suppose I might as well continue right? So the anticipation is building. I have a 3hr 40minute flight at 6:30 am (it's now 8:15pm)  and I need to finish packing. This is a little difficult since I'm still not sure how long I'll be staying in New York (one of the advantages of staff travel...open tickets with no penalties!)and that will affect how much clothes I take. Hmm...oh the troubles of travel *sigh*. Wondering if I should take my kit (just in case) though I am planning on adding some OCC inks to it while I'm there. Probably should.

I guess any objective onlooker (pardon me, reader) would pick up at this point that my haphazard bantering is clearly as a result of anxiety annd excitement. My last trip to NY in  March it was too chilly to really enjoy the city and roam the streets of Manhattan so I'm looking to fix all that and make up for lost time.

Anywho, really should hold procrastination by the groin and get a move on! Sitting here typing won't get my bags packed and all this stuff done. Signing out til I find wireless tomorrow or til I get to my place of rest. Toodles!

Did I make a mistake?

So about a month and a half ago I made the decision to take some time off from my job (as an airline customer service rep) to figure out exactly what I want to do.  Six months leave without pay. I thought long and hard but kept coming back to the same conclusion. I was growing weary of work, having been there for 5 years and really just needed to be doing something else. Now I admit, the fact that I was taking a make up artistry course may have influenced my decision, still, I went ahead.

It's been  a month and a half. My course is now finished and I'm certified and licenced. The market here in Jamaica seems very exclusionary. My instructor didn't even give any advice on actually finding work (how to go about it, who to talk to etc) leaving me to figure it all out on my own. I suppose one of the advantages I have is that with my benefits from my job I can fly for almost free so travelling for workshops and networking isn't so difficult. Still, there are days when I do feel like a fish out of water. The newness of it overwhelms and I wonder if I'll ever get to take my craft to the level I want.

In addition to make up artistry I do some sewing and crafts as a means of supplementing my income. Still, I must admit that the convenience of  a definite pay check is dearly missed though on the upside the feeling of fulfillment I now get from charting my own course is indeed priceless.

Nevertheless, with all this independence there's the scare that comes from feeling unsure which ultimately leads to questioning *frown*. I keeping hoping it was the right decision. But somehow, I recently discovered that it's not so important whether or not it was right. What really matters is what I take from it and how I utilize the experience. That being said, I'm jumping in head first (even though I can't swim :-)). Starting with Make Up Show NYC on Sunday! My first real workshop as a professional!!! Yay for me :-)

 Will let y'all know how it goes....

Here Goes...

So I've never blogged before. And I suppose this would make me some kind of social networking outcast, like the last person still scratching out notes on paper in the age of PDAs, Laptops and Blackberrys; antediluvian to say the least.

In an attempt to shake this veil of archaism I have decided to create my own virtual journal. This is entry one, in celebration of that decision. I have always written and enjoyed getting reviews on my pieces (more often poetry than prose) so I suppose in some ways I possess that inherent bolgger gene that has somehow remained dormant til now, assuming it exists.

Nevertheless, I shall proceed. Maybe this will eventually give way to more extensive (dare I say obsessive) blogging!

Here goes....